tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50109477857331984222024-02-20T00:11:27.157-08:00Redbottomed RedheadRedbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-52095877020058354882012-02-14T00:47:00.000-08:002012-02-14T00:47:27.042-08:00Technically Speaking<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">During our OTK discussion the other night (I still have some lingering bruising) I recall my husband saying something to the effect of "we don't need any more video games" and I agreed wholeheartedly. I certainly don't need to go looking for ways to spend money we don't have! As my bottom was burning, I was most agreeable and his words made complete sense at the time and under the circumstances.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Now, the problem is that I had inquired about some video games prior to that spanking and it turned out that the 5 Wii games I had asked about earlier in the week were still available. The person selling the game bundle sent me a message on Sunday offering me the 5 games I wanted from the bundle for only $25, which was the used cost of just one game on the list. Surely my husband's comment was in reference to the $100 I spent on the DS with games and not that I was never to buy any more games. At least that is what I am choosing to believe he meant by his comment because I ended up buying the games with money I had from tutoring and from money my daughter earned over the weekend.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I had some errands I needed to do today but because I drove to pick up the games and checked out a few Goodwill stores en route, I ran short of time to complete them all before my husband got home. To be honest, there were things on my to do list that I had already decided that I needed to do today and then there were things he added to my list for me to do and it was the things he asked me to do that were not done before he got home from work. He did not specifically state that they needed to be done by a certain time (or even a certain day) and I did get everything done today, just not as early in the day as he expected. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Well, there was one thing that did not get done and by the time he reminded me it was too late. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My husband sent me a text message stating that it was a steak and potatoes day since he was doing hard physical work. When I read his message I immediately thought to take some steaks out of the freezer to thaw them out for dinner. Unfortunately some other thought must have entered my mind before I made it to the kitchen because I left to run errands without taking out the steaks first. By the time I got home again it was too late for the steaks to thaw and, since I had also put off getting toilet paper until we were completely out, we ended up going out together to pick it up and pick up some other essential things at the same time. Because we were out and the steaks were still in the freezer, my husband grabbed some fast food to curb his hunger pains and when we got home I pulled out the steaks to thaw for tomorrow instead. I dared suggest that he should have taken the steaks out in the morning before he left for work but he took my comment in the playful spirit in which it was intended and only bent me over the arm of the couch for a few smacks on the seat of my jeans, LOL.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't know if my husband is upset and angry at me for not getting errands done earlier in the day but I decided not to mention the trip for the video games and the trips to Goodwill that I had managed to accomplish. I did show him a toolbox I found for him at Goodwill and he was as excited about it as I was but he did not ask me what else I got and I did not volunteer any further information. I am thinking that because I had the money and did not use money he deposited into the bank account for bills I shouldn't be in trouble for spending the money today but it is his comment about not needing any more video games that has me a bit worried. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Because he has gone to bed and I am still up worrying, I won't have an opportunity to talk to him about it until tomorrow and that certainly is not the way to say "Happy Valentine's Day" so I might neglect to mention it. It is not lying to keep the truth to myself and yet it tends to weigh on me when I am concerned that I may have made another unnecessary purchase instead of spending the money more wisely. I was supposed to sort through the bills over the weekend and make bill payments today but that chore has moved to my list for tomorrow because if I start going through bills now I will never get to sleep.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Thankfully I am a bargain shopper because a $20 spending spree is far easier to recover from than a $200 spending spree! As long as we have enough money to pay the bills it shouldn't be a problem that I spent money on video games, even though they are not a necessary purchase like toilet paper. I think that what is bothering me now is that it feels as if I am being dishonest by keeping information from the person who most deserves my honesty. The thought that my husband might spank me for it does not worry me as much as the feeling that I have done something wrong and shameful. Guilt is a terrible stressor for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">What I want most is for my husband to love me and want to be with me. I want him to have confidence in me and find me trustworthy. Perhaps the issue is that I am worried that I can't be trusted when I do things that are wrong or feel dishonest somehow. I don't want to feel shame about the choices I make because I want more than anything to be a good person. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">One of the wonderful things about being in a Domestic Discipline relationship is that I don't have to wonder what sort of passive aggressive games my HOH is playing because if he has an issue with something I have done he will make his disapproval known so I don't have to wonder what he is thinking. The only way for him to be direct with me is for me to be direct with him and to trust him enough to be completely open with him, especially when I am in doubt about something I have done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">So, I am not sure how I will bring up the video game purchase but I do know that I will need to come clean and tell him or I won't be able to live with the deception. He may be upset with me or he may not be upset with me but unless I tell him I won't ever know and it is the wondering that makes me crazy and keeps me awake at night. Maybe I will wait until after he finds the heart shaped chocolate cake in his lunchbox and I can tell him how much I love him. ;)</span>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-39597653296655198322012-02-10T13:26:00.000-08:002012-02-10T18:20:58.764-08:00Bargains Are Not In My Budget!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have been distracted by life events so this is my first post for the new year. I have some catching up to do with comments that I just moderated (unless a comment is disrespectful I post it but I have my settings set up to prevent people from posting rude comments that are not helpful to me or anyone else) so I will be getting to those as I have the chance to respond. My husband insisted that I post today and that I make an effort to post weekly because it seems I have a way with words that allows me to express things other people may be thinking but are not able to put into words the same way. I tend to think of my thoughts as being private and not something to share but the fact that I have over 20 followers to my blog would indicate that there are other people who want to know my thoughts. My fifth grade teacher told me I should be a writer but I am sure she had no idea I would be using my writing skills to write a spanking blog one day! LOL I have been told I should write a book so maybe I will start by writing spanking stories someday so I can use my talent for an income, if there is a market for spanking stories the way there is an interest in spanking blogs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">We got a Wii for Christmas now that the price has come down, which usually happens when new technology comes out to replace older technology. We have wanted to buy a Wii since they first came out but with the cost of the system and then the added cost of the games, it was not something we could afford so we continued with our older game systems and put off buying a Wii until the price was more affordable. As a result, I was able to buy a couple of used Wii systems with game bundles on Craig's List and then sell the extra Wii for more games so we already have a game system with a huge number of accessories and a game library of 50+ games, all for about $250. I am a bargain shopper so I love getting a good deal on things we would not otherwise be able to afford.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Another place for bargains is FreeCycle and I was able to get two non-working DS Lite game systems for free so I figured I would take them apart and fix them myself to get a working one. I spoke to someone about what could be wrong with them and I watched tutorials on YouTube to learn how to take the systems apart. I grabbed the set of precision screwdrivers and went to work, only to discover that special tools are required. Not one to give up easily, I searched Craig's List to find out what it would cost to have someone with the necessary tools fix one DS with parts from other other and in the process I found a DS Lite with 11 games and accessories for $100. Considering that the cost of the used games alone made the bundle worth buying, I made the decision to spend $100 from our bill budget with the thought that I would sell something to make up the difference and not have to discuss the purchase with my husband. I knew this bargain was going to go fast and I am a bit impulsive already when it comes to decision making so I withdrew the money from the bank and bought it without a word about it to my husband.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">All seemed well until I went to transfer money to pay the mortgage and ended up $.09 short. Yes, I was less than a dime away from making the house payment but the bank would have kicked in an overdraft fee to cover it and that would have thrown my budget off even more. I knew I needed to deposit money into the account to make up for the money I spent but I thought I had the mortgage payment covered. Apparently a few trips to Goodwill on a Saturday afternoon also contributed to blowing my budget so I was short more than I had figured. I knew I could come up with a dime to deposit in the account in time for the mortgage payment to clear and avoid the overdraft fee but then I discovered that two other bills were also due and I needed to come up with the money to cover them fast because I had spent the bill money on a luxury item instead. I stayed up all night wondering what to do to solve the problem I got myself into and worrying that I might need to confide in my husband for help.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It is not unusual for me to have sleepless nights when I am trying to come up with a solution to a problem. It seems my life is on hold until I fix the problem and I can't fall asleep while thinking through my options. It just so happened that I needed to take my husband to work in the morning so I could use the car during the day and he asked me why I had not slept. I don't know how I thought I could get away with spending money from the bill budget and replacing it without him being any wiser because I have a terrible guilty conscience and he can always tell when something is wrong. I also can't lie when confronted with questions, especially if the questions are direct enough that a half truth does not put off further questions. Naturally I admitted what I had done, knowing I would be in trouble.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I am in trouble it is always fair and right so there is no question that I deserve to be punished. Quite often my husband gives me the benefit of taking other factors into consideration so he is very merciful and not quick to spank for anything other than willful disobedience. This was very much a situation where I knew that I had done something wrong and I had intended to keep him from knowing the truth about what I had done. The dishonesty was bad enough but I also violated his trust by spending money on something other than what he was trusting me to spend the money on when his paycheck was deposited in the bank account. We were already short financially this month because he had to take off four days for a required class and another four days during a storm that had roads closed between our home and his work (no one else could make it in either so there would not have been any work if he had been able to make the drive) so our budget did not have any room for surplus spending this month. As exciting as it is to get a bargain on something, it is not an option when the money needs to go to essentials. I know this logically but somehow I was not thinking logically when I made the decision to spend $100 plus gas money without talking to my husband about it first. He does not seem to lose the ability to think rationally like I do so it is usually best to discuss such things and get his approval because then if it ends up being a mistake he owns it and not me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When I am going to get a spanking, I don't want time to think about it for too long because the anticipation causes me to become too nervous and my mind works overtime trying to figure out a way to get out of it. Because we needed to leave so my husband could get to work on time, the spanking was put off until after work. Then after work there were other things that needed to be taken care of and before he could catch up with me I had managed to lie down and fall asleep. The sleep deprivation had caught up with me and the stress of anticipation along with the stress of getting other things accomplished had pushed me to my limit physically so I was getting dizzy and thought I would lie down to regain my balance. The next thing I knew my husband was going to bed ("early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise" or at least it is necessary for him to make a living in his line of work) and I had to leave for choir rehearsal so the spanking was put off for another day. Somewhere in my mind I was relieved that there was a chance that by the next day he would forget and I would get out of the spanking but that did not happen.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">When it was time for my spanking I put it off for as long as possible but when my husband says "come here" there is no way out at that point. He does not spank in anger and he is always fair so I am not afraid of being spanked, I just don't want to have to go through with it. I know that if I were not spanked for misbehavior there would be no limit to the trouble I would get myself in because I am the kind of person who needs to have limits set and enforced for me to be my best. Without consequences or with the ability to get away with avoiding consequences my life becomes unmanageable. For me, corporal punishment has always worked while other forms of behavior modification allow me to think my way around taking accountability for my actions. It is very important for my moral development that I am held accountable for willful disobedience because I sometimes lack the self discipline to keep myself from making hurtful choices. Although I don't like being spanked, I desperately need to be spanked for my own good. I know this in my head and in my heart but my body is sometimes reluctant to submit to a spanking when I know it is going to hurt.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My husband spanked me harder and longer than usual so it was definitely uncomfortable. He only used his hand but his huge carpenter's hands are so hard that he can have as much impact with an open hand as with a paddle, especially when he uses full force. He tends to hold back a bit with a paddle because he does not have to strike as hard but his intent was to spank me hard and that is exactly what he did. My bottom hurt and it was overwhelming in the moment but the physical pain resides before the emotional pain subsides. For me the physical pain is needed for me to forgive myself and move on because otherwise I tend to use self-punishment that is far more detrimental to my overall well being. Once the spanking is over, the offense is forgiven and there will be no grudges as we move forward. I learn from my mistake and the spanking lasts as a reminder of the consequence of my irresponsible choice. It keeps me from making myself crazy wanting to go back and fix something that is done because the price is paid and there is no need to make further amends. If my mind tries to convince me to repeat the mistake, my body will protest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">After I am spanked to tears, my husband holds me and tells me how much he loves me. He did give me a stern lecture after spanking me almost to tears and then he put me back over his knee and spanked me to tears. When the spanking is over he is no longer stern with me and I am forgiven. It is completely up to him to decide how hard and how long I am to be spanked while I submit to his judgment. In the moment I don't think I can take any more and I just want the spanking to end but the sting fades pretty quickly once it is over. There may be some bruising and soreness afterwards but it is nothing compared to the time spent over his knee getting the full impact of his hand on my bare bottom. There is no warm-up and it is painful, but it is the pain that reaches my inner being more effectively than words. It is hard to describe just how cleansing a spanking is to those who have not experienced it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am not what some would call a "pain slut" because spanking is not erotic for me. There are playful "spankings" that are like love pats and might be a form of sexual foreplay (especially when there is also rubbing between swats) but discipline spankings are not sexual in any way. There is such a huge difference that it amazes me that people can confuse the two. A playful "spanking" is like oral sex because it can stimulate blood flow to the genitals while a discipline spanking creates such overwhelming sensations that it is as sexually unstimulating as if someone were attempting to remove the genitals with their teeth instead of teasing them with their tongue. It is the difference between "don't stop, that feels good" and "STOP, that hurts!" with a playful "spanking" causing increased desire and a discipline spanking causing immediate remorse. My husband enjoys looking at my bottom and he likes giving it a light smack from time to time and I enjoy it when he does that but there is nothing pleasant about a discipline spanking other than a means to reach a state of remorse and forgiveness for a real transgression. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The spanking I got last night is not something I would want to repeat so it has effectively changed my behavior for the better. I will not be spending bill money on anything other than bills! I am certain it will not be my last spanking ever because I am human and prone to making mistakes, but I know for certain that if I were to make the same mistake I have already been spanked for I would be spanked even longer and harder to make sure the message gets through. One spanking is usually all it takes for me to change my ways.</span>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-89376780876455120672011-12-21T08:38:00.000-08:002011-12-21T10:12:13.644-08:00Busted Again!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am in for another spanking today after having been spanked Monday for neglecting a load of laundry in the washing machine over the weekend. I did not realize that I was so sidetracked this week.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I woke up early this morning to take my husband to work since I need the car today and our second vehicle needs repairs before it can be driven safely. Before we left at 4:30 this morning he had posted to his blog so I got an update as a follower. His words caused me to think I may have neglected to do something I was supposed to do so I hurried and made a bill payment that I was supposed to have made yesterday but put off doing right away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Then when I looked around the kitchen it became clear that I was probably in trouble for the state it was in. I noticed that the pizza pan we used Friday night was still waiting to be washed by hand and put away. The grill I used on Saturday was still on the stovetop needing to be washed and put away. There were dishes in the sink since I had washed a load of dishes but I had not put them away yet. We ate out last night since I had a doctor's appointment and my husband was starving by the time he picked me up afterwards so the dishes in the sink were from the night before when I had heated up leftovers before going to a Christmas party with a group from church. If I leave dishes overnight they are usually done the next morning but I neglected to take care of them yesterday. As much as I hate to admit it, the laundry that had stayed in the dryer over the weekend is still in the dryer waiting to be folded and put away. It is my responsibility to keep up with the household chores and I quite obviously failed so I correctly assumed that I was going to be held accountable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">It was not until I had dropped my husband off for work and returned home safely that I dared to ask him in a text message if I was going to be spanked because we both know that I don't handle the apprehension well. I texted "Looking around at what I have failed to do I am pretty certain I have a spanking coming. You might as well tell me if I am going to be spanked because I am already stressed out with the apprehension anyway." He texted back "You do have a good spanking coming and that's what you'll be getting!" Unfortunately the delay in getting it over with keeps me too focused on the negative feelings of remorse and regret as I punish myself mentally. If I were over his knee now I would probably be brought to tears quickly and it would be over with so I could focus on other things. Instead I will spend the day beating myself up for failing to live up to a standard I expect from myself as a wife and mother.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I have shared with my husband that I want and need his leadership because I fail to do what I need to do when it seems unimportant. When he notices the things that are not done as they should be it helps me to see those tasks as important. I don't know how I managed to overlook the things I should have done.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My husband puts in full days at work while I stay at home being lazy. I have plenty of time to keep up with a few simple chores to avoid negative consequences and yet I procrastinate and do not manage my time well. I am ashamed at my lack of responsibility because I want to be a better wife and mother. I appreciate my husband for holding me accountable because I clearly lack the self-discipline to do it on my own. At the same time, if he asks me if I want a spanking I will say no and try to negotiate my way out of it (often by making excuses and trying to get him to share the blame)! I want to be spanked when I deserve it but I would prefer to do what I need to do so I won't earn a spanking.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Being spanked is painful and at the same time it is freeing. The guilt I feel from the realization that I have not done what should have been done causes mental anguish that needs an outlet for release so it does not linger and cause anxiety, depression or other more longterm consequences. Once I have been spanked for something I will have a clean slate so I can begin again without my husband holding grudges against me or using passive aggressive means to point out my shortcomings. Repeat offenses do result in more severe consequences such as a longer hand spanking or the use of an implement to make it more memorable but still, once the spanking is over all is forgiven and I know I am loved. Perhaps it is childish to feel loved and cared for in this way as an adult but when my "inner child" needs are neglected it hurts me as an adult.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am naturally prone to surrounding myself with chaos. Some people have a hard time with change while I have a hard time with the boredom of repetition. I need things to be predictable and stable in order to balance the chaos I create in my life and fortunately my husband provides a shelter in the storm. He loves me for who I am but he also sees how quickly I fall apart when things become too unmanageable and overwhelming. I am so thankful that he takes control when I allow things to get out of control. I am also grateful that he knows how to handle a redheaded Leo like myself, LOL. Not all men would be up to the challenge!</span>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-1282655289720720882011-12-20T01:27:00.000-08:002011-12-21T10:07:11.485-08:00Laundry Lapsed!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I sometimes get distracted and lack the necessary follow-through on basic household chores. My husband has given me reminders when I have walked away from a task and failed to return to it for several days and yet sometimes I continue to get side tracked and end up spanked.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;">Laundry is one of those things that has a start and a finish but it does not require my undivided attention since I am not going to stand around and watch a load wash (even though the washer would allow me to do that since it has a glass door on the front) and I am not going to wait for the dryer to complete its cycle. The trick is in the timing. I put in a load of wash, return to put it in the dryer, and return once more to remove the clothes to be folded and put away. Often the clothes end up on the bed briefly because I walk away from them and return a short time later to put them away because I need to put the load from the washer into the dryer and then start a new load in the washing machine. Laundry can take all day to complete but I am doing other things at the same time while the machines do the work. My difficulty is in remembering that I am doing laundry when I am also busy doing other things.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">There have been occasions when I have walked away from a load of clothes on the bed and not made it back right away to finish the job of folding them and putting them away. Usually I will return at a later time, see the laundry pile, and take care of it before the wrinkles set in too badly. Sometimes I don't get to the load in the dryer right away and I have to set it on a tumble press cycle to work out the wrinkles that have set while the clothes were sitting in the dryer. On occasion it has taken a day or more to return to the load because, unlike a pile on the bed, it is out of sight and out of mind. I typically realize that there is a missing load when someone runs out of socks or underwear and they can easily be retrieved from the dryer because wrinkles are not an issue with undergarments such as socks and underwear.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The real problem is forgetting about a load of wash for a few days because it slipped my mind and I did not notice the clothes stuck to the sides after a spin cycle, even though a keen observer can see them through the glass door on the front of the washer. When I forget a load of wash for a few days, the result is foul smelling laundry that needs a repeat wash (which unfortunately uses more soap, water, and electricity than necessary). Somehow my husband has an eye for laundry that I do not have.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;">Not long ago I left a load of wash in the washer long enough to cause a stink and I was warned that if it continued to happen I would be spanked. I agreed because I am aware that it is a problem for me and something I need to correct. Unfortunately I did not figure out a solution to the problem and it happened again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;">I am not sure what day last week I decided to do laundry but what I am sure about is that a load was still in the washer today when my husband came home from work and I had not done laundry today. When he asks questions that do not seem to require a specific answer I can get often away with being vague and sometimes that works. For example, he may ask, "how long has that load of laundry been in the washer?" and I may answer, "not long" and he will accept that for an answer. Not today! My error may have been that I had not even realized that there was anything in the washer because it had been last week since I did laundry. Somehow, "huh, what laundry?" is not an acceptable answer to the question when I have already been given a fair number of warnings.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">So, I had a spanking coming but because my husband did not put me over his knee right then and there, I thought I was going to get away with another warning. I added soap and ran the washer, then walked away from it and continued working on other things. I checked my e-mail and to my surprise my husband had posted on his blog that his wife would be spanked soon! I am a follower on his blog so I get updates everytime he posts and there have been times I wondered if I was due for a spanking based on something he posted. This left little room for doubt that he intended to spank me even though he had not done so right away. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I don't do well with the anticipation of a spanking and he knows it. Still, he sometimes tells me I am going to be spanked without actually spanking me then and there.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: large;">I know some women actually enjoy the emotional tension that accompanies the anticipation of a spanking but not me. If I had access to pain killers that I could take prior to a spanking it might be good to know it was coming but since I don't have a prescription for narcotics it does me no good to wait for the moment to come when I will be feeling painful sensations across my bare bottom. When I am spanked I really prefer to have it happen immediately because then it is over with before I have a chance to try thinking my way out of it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The "lecture" part of a spanking has to happen before my mind can attempt to process the situation from an innocent standpoint rather than a guilty one, and the physical part needs to follow for it to have the intended impact. The more time there is between a behavior and consequence, the more time I have to justify the behavior instead of the consequence.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">My husband is fair so when he decides to spank me it is because I need a spanking. I accept the spanking because I trust him to be fair. I don't question his authority over me unless he gives me the opportunity to question him. When my husband says he is going to spank me but then there is a lapse of time between the words and his action, I take that to mean that there is a chance he will change his mind or that I can change his mind for him. He may be unaware that this is how my mind works under the circumstances but I have often had people tell me they will do something and they don't follow through, leaving me to doubt that they mean what they say. My husband has on occasion made references to wanting to spank me for something that he didn't spank me for so perhaps that has led me to believe that there is an opportunity for negotiation when it comes to his decision to spank me. Whatever the reason, the fact is that the more time I have between being told I will be spanked and the actual spanking, the more likely I will recover from the instant feeling of remorse and end up with a more defiant attitude that is harder to break through.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Another thing that I have difficulty with is combining discipline with sex. For me, sexual contact with my husband is about me wanting to please him and wanting him to be pleased with me. I do not find spankings erotic or pleasurable but I do find sex to be pleasurable. It is difficult for me to transition from the acceptance that I have done wrong and deserve to be spanked as a result of my behavior to then having sexual desires. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I am available to my husband sexually whenever he has a sexual desire for me and yet spankings and sex don't mix as well for me as they do for him. He may be aroused when spanking me because he thinks I have a beautiful bottom and his spanking me is a loving gesture but my mind has a hard time mixing pain and pleasure the way some people do.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">When I am truly ashamed for disappointing my husband it is hard to feel desirable at the same time, even if he finds me desirable. I know he likes the appearance of my bottom when it has been spanked and I want to please him sexually but a spanking is not in the same category as erotic foreplay in my mind. I am not sure how to get my mind to be more cooperative in this area. I am most definitely sexually submissive and prefer a sexually dominant partner so I want my husband to take the lead in the bedroom. I don't mind having sex immediately following a spanking but I personally would prefer the spanking and sex to be separate as much as possible with more sex than spankings.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">My husband has made comments that I should be spanked more than I am and I know that he lets me off at times when a spanking is deserved. It is possible I would do a better job keeping up with this blog if I were spanked more frequently because it gives me something to write about, LOL. He asked me earlier if I was testing his resolve and I don't think that is the case. I want to be an obedient wife and yet I know that my strong personality has the potential to create powers struggles if I were to choose to be rebellious against my husband's authority in our relationship. Fortunately my husband would spank me rather than allow that to happen to our relationship.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">It is not the spankings I like, rather I like the fact that he will put me over his knee and spank me when it is for my own good. </span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">It is not only my thinking that I can say or do something to convince my husband that I have learned my lesson without his enforcing the message in my brain with a physical reminder, it is the thinking that I can manipulate time in order to change the behavior that got me into trouble. By the time I am over his knee with my pants down, my mind has already corrected the problem by going back in time and avoiding the mistake that led to the punishment. In addition, my brain comes up with every justification imaginable so that instead of getting caught and being accountable right away, I manage to deflect the blame onto an entirely different set of circumstances. In the case of the laundry, I actually came up with the idea that my husband had put the clothes in the washer and left them there instead of me so I was being unjustly punished for his amusement! Of course that was nowhere near the truth but it is an example of how desperately I will seek to remove myself from the consequences of my own behavior if given enough time to think my way out of an upcoming spanking. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-5239068518070019842011-12-08T20:06:00.000-08:002011-12-09T23:10:14.597-08:00Crossing the Line<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I was in court yesterday and heard testimony from a father about a spanking he gave his daughter. It surprised me that he was reading from a prepared statement that sounded so much like the descriptions of spankings I have heard in other contexts. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The teenager had been communicating with her boyfriend through e-mail using sexually explicit language that the parents rightly felt was inappropriate. When they asked to see the messages the girl said they were gone from her computer and she did not know what happened to them. After more questioning she admitted that she had deleted the messages so her parents would not see them because she knew it was wrong for her to be using the language she had in the messages. Not only had she engaged in unacceptable behavior but she lied about her cover-up attempts. The father stated in his testimony that it had been two years since the girl had received her last spanking. He told her that she would be spanked for what she had done and then he told her to go downstairs and prepare herself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The girl apparently knew the drill because she pulled down her pants and bent over the bed for the spanking. The father removed his belt and he administered the spanking on her bare bottom. The girl's mother was a witness to be sure she was not harmed excessively and the father did not lose his temper or his self-control. He stated that there were no marks at the conclusion of the spanking but he did not specify how long it lasted or to what severity he had struck her backside with the belt. It was not an unusual punishment and it was over and done with following a brief scolding and a final reprimand. Afterwards the family watched a movie together and went on with their usual evening routine. I did not find any reason to think the father was doing anything other than disciplining his daughter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The judge had stopped the man when he got to the part about taking off his belt and warned him that he was giving public testimony so anything he said could and would be used against, him but the man continued to describe what he had done to discipline his daughter. After the viral video of the Texas judge using a belt on his non-compliant daughter so that the discipline involved abusive language towards her and strokes of the belt on her thighs instead of her bottom, it was clear that the description the man was about to give could have been considered abusive to those in the courtroom listening and to the female judge determining whether or not he had crossed the line. The father continued because what he did was not abusive towards his daughter, rather it was a form of discipline that he had used in the past without crossing the line of discipline into the realm of abuse.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My husband is able to administer a scolding and spanking in a calm collected manner and he is able to inflict enough pain to get a message across without going too far. I respect him for this and I trust him to be fair with me when discipline is administered. A spanking hurts but that is why it is effective and it is far less hurtful than other more longterm consequences society would impose as a means of justice. When it is done right, it is not abusive and it brings family members closer together in a loving relationship built on trust and respect.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">There are situations when spanking crosses the line and becomes abuse. What I saw in the seven minute video of the judge and his daughter was nothing compared to what I experienced at the hands of my own father, who had a violent temper and easily lost control of his anger, and yet it was not what I would consider an act of discipline due to the verbal assault that went along with the physical assault. I don't know if there was any lasting physical damage to the teenager but I am guessing the judge's words did not do anything to bring them closer together as a family. It may not have met the legal definition of abuse but it was certainly questionable. The spanking I heard the father describe in the courtroom yesterday did not seem to concern the judge but that may have been partly because the father had stated at the end of his testimony that his daughter may have been too old to spank so it gave the impression that he would not be using the belt on her again. Sometimes when hand spanking fails to be effective parents turn to the use of a belt or paddle in order to get through to a defiant teenager and the use of an implement can cause more damage than necessary, particularly if the parent is striking in anger and not love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The goal with discipline is not to damage a person but to correct them in a way that will be memorable. I might think that picking up my husband late after work when I need the car for the day is no big deal but when he gets off work, worn out from his exhausing work day, he wants to be able to leave right away and not stand around waiting for me to get there. There is no reason I can't budget my time to pick him up on time so if I am late he would very likely want to spank me right there and let me think about it on the seated ride home. I accept that he is not asking too much by wanting me to be on time so I would accept a spanking in order to help me be on time the next time. Fortunately for me, a warning is usually all it takes for me to change my bad habits! When he asks me to pick him up at a particular time I am sure to get there a bit early just to make sure I am not late so the first time I was late and was told what would happen if it happened again will hopefully be the last time I am ever late to pick him up. I prefer my husband spend his time after work admiring my bottom rather than spending time with me over his knee because I have disappointed him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">My husband never looks for reasons to spank. He knows that he can have my naked bottom across his lap anytime he wants to admire it or even pat it playfully. He can walk in the kitchen as I am cooking supper and pull down my pants just to caress my bare bottom if he is in the mood. My body is his to enjoy and I would not deprive him from expressing his love for me in physical ways. When I am spanked it is an entirely different mood that is created and one I don't want to provoke. I don't enjoy being spanked but I do appreciate how it helps me stay more focused and gives him a means of feeling in control as the head of our household (we both know that women are clever enough to establish control in ways that allow men to think they have all the control, LOL). It brings us closer together while unresolved conflict just pushes us apart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am glad to know that people are able to use spanking the way we do in order to strengthen their relationships through respect and trust. There are people who will abuse their authority and mistreat those they claim to care enough about to discipline but that does not make the act of spanking a form of abuse. It is so much more harmful to pull away from people we love in order to avoid conflict. I personally don't believe that teenagers become "too old" to be spanked since I am a grown woman who still benefits from being spanked. It used to be that a girl grew up under her father's authority and then accepted her husband's authority in much the same way. If a father or husband abuses his authority and harms her she is not likely to be willing to submit to his authority but if he uses his authority as a means of expressing his love and concern for her wellbeing then her submission can be a blessing to them both.</span>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-75516276330602131942011-09-27T01:16:00.000-07:002011-09-27T01:16:10.786-07:00Regret to Remorse<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is not hard for me to regret a mistake but a reaching a deeper sense of remorse can more difficult.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I repeated a mistake I have made in the past because it is easy for me to justify my actions and to avoid consequences. I frequently shop at second hand stores and on occasion, when I don't have enough money, I take something without paying for it. Everything in the store has been donated so it does not cost the store anything, also they throw away so many items that they never miss the few things I have taken. Still, in my conscience I know that it is stealing and that stealing is wrong. I also know that if I were caught, I would face criminal charges and my family would suffer negative consequences as a result. Unfortunately it is so easy to get away with stealing that I don't consider just how risky my behavior is while I am doing it. Afterwards I realize that I have taken an unnecessary risk but because it is like reverse gambling where I win rather than lose, there is an addictive aspect to shoplifting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I know that the only way for me to break this bad habit is to have negative consequences in place that will help me avoid doing what I know is wrong. Spanking is usually a good motivator for me but unfortunately I have repeated this behavior, even after being spanked for it. Typically being spanked causes me to feel a sense of regret but I don't seem to feel the remorse that would make spanking a less desirable outcome than stealing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">On Saturday I took an item from a second hand store that would have cost $3.99 plus tax if I had paid for it. It fit easily in my pocket and I was able to pocket it without being noticed, which is not hard to do when store employees are not very attune to loss prevention. It is something I have been searching for specifically for many months so I was glad to have found it. If money had not been an issue, I would have paid for it instead of taking it without paying for it. It is something I will use frequently and could not have afforded to purchase new so the temptation to take it was greater than the internal conflict created when I contemplate doing something I know is wrong.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">The guilt tends to build over time for me, once the thrill of getting away with shoplifting has subsided and the rush is gone. It was my guilty conscience that lead me to confess my guilt to my husband Saturday night. I tried explaining my actions in a way that I thought would gain his support of my behavior, even though I knew that what I did was wrong. I figured that if he supported my decision to take the item then I would not need to debate the issue in my mind any longer. He was just falling asleep so I did not think there was much threat of getting spanked right then if he decided that is what was needed. Also, there was a chance that he was sleepy enough that by morning he would forget what I had told him and I would be off the hook.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">To my surprise, my husband responded by telling me to close the bedroom window. I asked if he thought it was getting too cold to leave it open at night and he said it was so no one would hear me getting spanked. I managed to convince him that he needed his sleep more than I needed to be spanked right then, which allowed me to put it off and to think I would get out of it if he were to forget. The next morning I thought he had forgotten because he did not bring it up and I did not dare mention it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Before we headed for church on Sunday morning I made a disrespectful comment and he said that I already had one coming and asked if I was trying to add more to it. That was when I realized he had not forgotten about the spanking like I had thought. At least he did not have time then to spank me before we went to church and there was always a chance I could still get out of the spanking. Comments he made throughout the day made it clear that his CRS (Can't Remember Shit) was in remission and I was in trouble.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">We went to the fair after church on Sunday and while wandering around in the pavilion there was a vendor selling sandstone and mink oil guaranteed to soften even a carpenter's rough hands. My husband has hands of steel with the texture of leather so a hand spanking can be severe enough to make implements unnecessary. I suggested he give the miracle cure a try and the woman who gave us the sales pitch thought I was suggesting it because I was concerned about holding his rough hand. It made us laugh because we both knew that I had a spanking coming and I was hoping this hand treatment would soften the feel of his rough hand on my bottom, LOL.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">We stayed at the fair longer than we planned so it was late when we got home. Since my husband goes to work early in the mornings he has to get to bed early at night while I stay up and make his lunch and set the coffee pot for the morning. I thought he was heading to bed when he closed the living room window behind the couch. Instead he told me to "come here" and I knew what was coming then. I tried to stall and put it off another day but he had already decided what was to be done so disobedience would only make the spanking worse. I had put it off as long as possible and he had not forgotten.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I respect my husband so in all honesty I would have been more disappointed if he had not taken care of the issue than I was with the prospect of getting the spanking I deserved. There is always apprehension when going over his knee because I know it is going to hurt but I also trust him to be fair so I submit to his authority. I got one set of hard swats, a brief reprieve during scolding, and then another set of hard swats. All I could think about was how much it hurt and how much I did not want to steal again. My bottom was tender when he held me and told me he loved me. There is no doubt I was spanked soundly, as he is a very effective spanker, but I was not bruised and the effects did not last overnight so I am not feeling any soreness today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">What concerns me now is that last night I was thinking it was not worth it but today I am thinking that it was worth it after all. I think that my avoidance of the spanking when I was in a state of regret did not allow me to reach a state of remorse from the spanking. The guilt that leads to confession seems to get pushed from my mind when there is a delay between the overwhelming feelings of guilt and the overwhelming discomfort of a spanking. It seems that to be truly effective the mental and physical have to come together at the same time or I don't gain the full impact of the punishment. Somehow in seeking to avoid the spanking, I was able to avoid feelings of accountability during the spanking since time had allowed me to distance myself from my emotions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">My husband did not spank me as severely as he could have done because he is very capable of causing bruising that lasts a week and makes sitting a painful reminder. This could have been because the price of the item I stole was minor and it was from a second hand store, which is how I am able to minimize the behavior when I shoplift. It could have been because he was tired and wanted to take care of business as effortlessly as possible before heading to bed. It could have been because he had other things on his mind (we were intimate immediately following the spanking). I am grateful that I am not sore today and that he did not mark me because those things are not essential for me to learn my lesson. However, what seems to be missing is that I did not reach a mental state of remorse that would help me avoid repeating a mistake I have already repeated on a number of occasions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">In the past I have had a serious problem with shoplifting so there has been a definite improvement. Where I still struggle is with my thinking that it is not a big deal when I take things from second hand stores. When the thought to take something enters my mind I want to be able to think it is not worth it so I won't be so tempted again. I want to remember how painful the consequences will be if I were to do it again so I won't do it again. I am ashamed that I have this problem and I want to do whatever it takes to fix the problem so I won't put myself at risk of getting arrested and having criminal charges on my record.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I don't know if spanking as a consequence will cure me of this problem but it has helped me in other areas of my life. I know that if I were in Eve's position in the Garden of Eden I would have sinned and eaten the apple just as she did so I have no doubt that I need to submit to a HOH who will keep me accountable. I have always been considered "difficult" and even "rebellious" because I push limits and cross the line. I don't expect my husband to "cure" me of this sinful nature but I want to be held accountable and I need to be punished for my own good. This knowledge is what leads me to confess my sins and submit to authority for punishment when it is deserved.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">I don't know what it would take for me to feel more remorseful for taking this item from a second hand store. Part of my submission is to trust my HOH to determine an appropriate punishment so I can let go of the guilt and not punish myself endlessly for something I can't go back in time to correct. I need his forgiveness when I do wrong so I can forgive myself rather than to hide my guilt and shame where it tears me apart inside. When he spanks me, my offense is acknowledged and when the spanking is over he forgives and forgets so I am able do the same. What worries me is that I lack the remorse that would prevent me from repeating the behavior so I will very likely end up stealing again.</span>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-8031151433072300902011-09-19T12:44:00.000-07:002011-09-26T22:44:42.051-07:00Catching Up<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This summer has been busier than usual with so many life changes taking place all at once. I won't bore you all with the details about the daily distractions that have resulted in my neglecting my blog for many months but I will say that keeping up with a newly started blog did not make the priority list. I did not think anyone would miss reading my thoughts while I attended to more important things. Now I am back to share my most recent thoughts.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">My last spankings were related and unfortunately a case of the message not sinking in deep enough during the first spanking. My husband even said during the scolding that accompanied the first spanking that the next time this behavior happened he would use the paddle and at that time my sincere thought was that there would not be a next time. I am usually better at changing my ways without a need for further reinforcement.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The reason I needed discipline was my unfortunate inability to resist temptation when it came to reading instant messages that were not sent to me but were between my husband and someone else. He had logged into Yahoo using my laptop computer and he forgot to log out. He has done this many times in the past and on several occasions I had the fleeting thought that I could read his instant messages and even his e-mail messages but because I trust him I had not violated his trust by doing so on those occasions. It turns out my husband is more trustworthy than me when it comes to respecting privacy because, instead of logging him out of his account like I usually do under the circumstances, I ended up violating his right to privacy by reading his messages. There was nothing there that was truly private since he had already shared with me the nature of his conversations and who they were with so all my snooping did was to affirm that he was being honest with me and that only made my dishonesty towards him feel even worse.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Soon after I violated my husband's privacy I ended up confessing to ease my guilty conscience. I knew that I would be spanked and I was spanked to his satisfaction so all was well afterwards. The comment about using the paddle the "next time" seemed unnecessary because I was sure he would be less trusting of me and therefore more cautious about logging out of his account so the temptation would not be there again. I was also certain that should he be careless about protecting his own privacy I would not have the desire to violate it again. I was wrong in more ways than one.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Just a short week later, after the effects of the first spanking wore off, my husband neglected to log out of Yahoo again and the thought again crossed my mind that it allowed me the potential to read his private instant messages. I had the follow up thought that it was not a good idea and yet there I was reading his messages again just because the opportunity was there in front of me. I consider myself an honest person and I consider reading someone's private messages to be dishonest so how I convinced myself to do it a second time is a mystery to me. I think that the "what he does not know won't hurt me" thought crossed my mind and I must have bought into it long enough to think I would get away with it. The thought got me through the act of being dishonest a second time but then the guilty feelings hit and I knew I had made a mistake.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Knowing I would get the paddle this time actually allowed me to convince myself for a time that I should not tell my husband what I had done and only confess if he discovered it on his own. We were so busy with other things that I avoided him as much as possible but I apparently looked guilty enough for my sister to ask what was wrong while she was helping out with a yard sale. When we had some time alone I told her what I had done and I shared with her the consequences of my actions if my husband were to know what I had done. My sister is spanked by her husband (they have a master/slave relationship that I don't fully understand but we have enough in common that we can talk to each other about being spanked) and she knows how much I hate the paddle so she sympathized with me in my predicament. She also knew that the only choice I had to make was when I was going to tell my husband because not telling him was only going to make it worse, both mentally leading up to the punishment and physically when he learned that I had been hiding it from him. I agreed with her advice that it would be best to get it over with as soon as possible because it was going to come up eventually. She would not tell on me but she knew that I could not cover the shame for long and that confessing would help me clear my guilty conscience.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I ended up telling my husband that evening. I had secretly hoped that his being exhausted from doing a yard sale all day would soften my punishment but a paddle is hard no matter how tired he may be when using it on my bare bottom. It is hard enough to find words to admit to a wrongdoing the first time but when it is a repeat of a behavior I have already been disciplined for it is even harder to admit that I was overcome by temptation a second time. As a Christian it does not surprise my husband that I would give into temptation but I am sure that he is also disappointed when I fail to learn to avoid repeating a past mistake. I am glad to report that I have not made this same mistake again and that this took place several months ago.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">My husband still trusts me and I still consider myself a trustworthy person but I fear I am capable of making the same mistake again if I am not careful. I sometimes think that I can get away with doing something I know better than doing or that it will be worth the punishment for doing it but then I remember what a painful spanking feels like and I am not so easily convinced. I want to do what is right just for the sake of it and yet I don't always make the right choice when faced with overwhelming temptations. </span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">For me, knowing I will be spanked for wrong choices helps tip the scale in favor of my being the type of person I want to be rather than acting on impulse and doing whatever I want. Being spanked also helps me release the guilt of making mistakes so I can start fresh and not allow the shame of guilt to cripple me or hold me captive.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;">I can't imagine how couples who don't use spanking would handle such a situation. The confession took a great weight off my conscience but without the spanking I might still have ended up thinking it was worth it in the end and that thought is a much bigger problem for me. I know that without physical consequences I am less likely to challenge those thoughts that lead me to believe that I can get away with doing something wrong. I have done things impulsively in the past that have resulted in patterns of behavior that took years to correct so putting a stop to thinking I can get away with something has been most helpful for me. Knowing that the punishment will catch up with me helps me think about the negative consequences of wrong choices rather than going with the initial impulse that leads me astray.</span></strong>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-7385351696347410552011-05-21T10:29:00.000-07:002011-05-21T10:47:46.536-07:00Household Maintenance<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Sometimes it takes a maintenance spanking to remind me to keep up with household chores.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I like having a clean house where everything is in its place. However, I also have a bad habit of setting something down where it does not belong in order to take care of it later. Then I get distracted and I move on to something else before completing the first task. I start a load of laundry and then forget about it until the next day. I fill the dishwasher but still have dishes that need to wait until the next load so they don't get done until the next day after I remember to unload the dishwasher. It is not that I am so forgetful that I can't remember what I am doing, I am busy with so many different projects at once that doing tasks that allow me to walk away from them for a period of time results in my forgetting what I was doing before I moved onto something else</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">Sometimes it only takes a verbal reminder or a question about a task that still needs completing. Usually I can get back to a chore and complete it without needing anything further than a warning. On occasion I put something off and do not heed the reminders in order to complete the task in a timely manner, especially in situations where it is out of mind once it it out of sight such as with laundry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">I have an understanding HOH who knows that I work to keep up with everything but sometimes life happens and I get distracted. He also gets distracted by unexpected life events that need to be scheduled around. We both do our best to keep up with everything that needs to be done. That is why it is an extra burden on him to have to remind me what I should be doing when he has enough of his own things to keep up with on his own. He does not seem to put off quite the same way I do either since he tends to do better when it comes to sticking with one job and finishing it before moving onto something else.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">When life becomes unmanageable for me that is a pretty clear indication that a spanking is needed. It helps me adjust my priorities and focus on what needs to be done to avoid another spanking. This is when maintenance type spankings are helpful. They are not as severe as punishment spankings but they serve as a reminder of what I will be in for if I do not meet the expectation that will allow me to avoid being punished. Sometimes it might be a few swats with a cutting board that my husband insists looks like a paddle, LOL. Other times it might be a bare bottom OTK hand spanking. He might even bend me over the back of the couch to take care of business quickly and then we go on with our routine. Maintenance spankings do both of us good because it is also brings out my submissive nature and his dominance.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">I don't think I consciously test him to know if he is paying attention to what I do but it is good for me to know that what I do is important enough that he notices when I fail to do it. So often the chores I do are not obvious unless they don't get done. If there are a few dishes piled in the sink I would not get spanked for that but if there is a full dishwasher load and another full load of dishes in the sink that would be evidence that I have not been keeping up with the dishes. When something gets to the point where I deserve a spanking, there is no question that my HOH is being fair and that it was ultimately my choice to be spanked when I had plenty of chances to avoid a spanking. Instead of laying a guilt trip on me or playing mind games, he takes care of business and we both feel better afterwards.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">I don't like being spanked so I try to do what I need to do because I need to do it anyway and it will allow me to avoid being spanked, but maintenance or reminder spankings are less severe than punishment spankings so they are not as painful and the physical effects are not as long lasting. I prefer maintenance spankings to avoid punishment spankings so in that way I know that I have been able to get back on track before getting too far off track that I earn a punishment spanking. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">Ideally, I would remember to keep up with everything that is my responsibility as a wife and mother but the reality is that I sometimes put too much effort and energy into things that are not productive. I may spend too much time online or I might not manage my time effectively. I have never been able to stick with routines very well and yet being on a schedule would be helpful when it comes to keeping up with everything in a timely manner. My husband does not want to micromanage my time and yet it may be helpful to set timelines for getting certain things done. He sometimes asks me to do something and then when I put it off to a later time I forget about it. I keep a schedule of activities outside of the home so I may need to start scheduling things that need to be done inside the home in a similar way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS; font-size: large;">I have found that accountability is important for me. If I am not held accountable there is not the same motivation for doing what I need to do. I can be self-disciplined in most areas of my life but there are some things I need help with because I lack the self-discipline necessary. Being disciplined with corporal punishment helps me become better self-disciplined once I practice developing good habits because then it becomes habitual and I don't have to think so hard to remember what needs to be done. I want to have a home that I can be proud of without messes that make me ashamed of my housekeeping skills so spanking has been a useful tool in our household. I would much rather face the humiliation of a spanking with my HOH than to feel ashamed about having guests in our home. When everything is in its place as it should be, we can all relax and enjoy our home and each other's company. That is very rewarding for me, thanks to my HOH giving me the maintenance spankings that happen from time to time when the reward is not enough and I need some extra motivation.</span>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-80734658890315832322011-05-09T23:21:00.000-07:002011-05-10T00:50:40.141-07:00Why Me?<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Consequences help me change things that I want to change for my own self-improvement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I would not put on my seatbelt if there were not a threat of getting spanked for forgetting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would take my chances of getting a ticket or even getting killed because those inconsistent consequences lack the consistency that being spanked for not wearing my seatbelt has for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would drive while talking on the phone or texting if it was not something I would be spanked for because the chances of it being a problem would seem minor in comparison.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would speed because everyone else does it and the cops can't stop everyone so I would get away with it like everyone else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because I have been spanked, I know what a spanked bottom feels like and I would rather drive with my seatbelt on, my phone in my purse, and within the speed limit than to drive with a sore bottom, LOL.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other drivers are also safer as a result of my safe driving because I don't want to be disciplined for not obeying the rules.</span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I am currently working on something with regard to my own behavior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a friend that is what you might call a "slow thinker" and for someone like me who often has "racing thoughts" it can seem like a very long time waiting for him to think.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In addition, I tend to be somewhat impatient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What happens is that I will completely dominate a conversation with him because he does not get his words out fast enough for me and after a pause I will start talking again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My HOH has already told me that I do this, mainly when I am nervous and seem to have a need to feel in control of the conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not something I have paid attention to about my own communication style but I am paying attention to it now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a teacher, I know the "10 second rule" so I usually try to allow people a full 10 seconds to gather their thoughts but outside of a learning environment I am apparently not as good at it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At this time I have not been spanked for doing this because we are in the discussion stage where he has told me about this problem and I have told him that I will work on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that if I am not mindful of this issue there is a good chance it will take a more meaningful reminder, which is a spanking for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was told about my behavior I accepted the reprimand and agreed that I needed to do better or I would accept a spanking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I am not spanked for something without knowing that it will be a consequence first so the things I get spanked for are things I have agreed to change and for some reason fail to do so with willpower alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't want to dominate a conversation and not allow another person to talk because I am too impatient to wait for him to form his words before he can speak them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is a rude trait I have developed and I want to change it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would not have been aware of it unless my HOH pointed it out to me because what I am doing is filling what I consider unbearably long silences in the conversation.</span> </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I could choose to continue doing this and being viewed as rude but I want to do better in this area instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My husband is going to try to give me a signal when I am doing it so I can be more aware of it and if that does not help enough he will spank me for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would rather avoid the spanking but honestly if I am to be spanked for it I recognize that it gives me added incentive to remember that the long pauses are going to be less painful than the spanking so I will wait and allow this man to speak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will feel better about my manners and he will feel better that he has a chance to contribute to the conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My HOH will be pleased that I have changed this annoying behavior and when I tell him that he does something that annoys me he will be more willing to change because he sees that I am making the effort to change for the benefit of our relationship.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">If, however, I were to respond in a way that told my HOH that his observation is his personal opinion and that I have the right to say what I want when I want to say it without caring how it affects him or this friend of his, my refusal to work on the issue would cause him to not want to have me around him when he is with friends because he would not want them thinking my rudeness is a reflection of him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I am doing the same thing with him and dominating conversations with him, he would not want to get into discussions with me at all and instead would become silent when I wanted to talk with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I were to ask him to do something for me, it is more likely he would refuse because he would not feel I was being considerate of him and he therefore has no reason to consider changing something I have asked him to change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have seen this passive aggressive behavior in so many failed marriages that I don't want it to happen in mine.</span><br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I see this question come up repeatedly: Why am I spanked while he is not spanked?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The simple answer for me is because I submit to his authority. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have agreed that he is the disciplinarian and I will submit to the authority I have given him as a result of my trust in his fairness. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am okay with answering to a higher authority because I do it all the time in life and life is not always fair. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I trust him to be fair with me while also understanding that he will be as fair as humanly possible and therefore he has the potential to make mistakes too. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am spanked for things I already know I am responsible for or for things I have been warned will earn me a spanking. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that he spanks me out of love and concern for my wellbeing, not for sadistic reasons that involve a personal enjoyment in my suffering. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The reason I am spanked is because my behavior is more hurtful than the spanking itself.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">In cases of "misbehavior" I recognize that I personally need consequences to motivate me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am far better at making excuses to myself for why I did not do what needed to be done or why I did what I did but ultimately I end up disappointed in myself when I don't meet my own expectations. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He would never hold me to a higher standard than I expect from myself so it comes as no surprise that his disappointment mirrors my own. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What he does is to provide punishment as a motivator in a much healthier way than I would choose to punish myself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the spanking is over I get to start with a clean slate, something I would not allow myself because I would continue to hold past errors against</span> <br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">myself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know the spanking is going to hurt but I feel so much better afterwards because of this cleansing effect.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt;"><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The way spanking helps me maintain a connection is through a submissive dependence on him that I sometimes resist with my more dominant independent nature. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rather than telling him "so what, get over it" with my words or actions, I communicate to him that our relationship is important enough to work on, even when it is hard. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An attitude of "I'm sorry, please forgive me" does more to repair a relationship than an attitude of "I don't care what you think or feel because I am only concerned with what I think and feel." <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">I don't always know when my behavior is hurtful because it is never my intent to hurt others so I need to hear how my behavior comes across to others so I can understand it from their viewpoint. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, my being late may be an issue of time management to me but to the person waiting for me it may seem more like an issue of disrespect. Knowing that it is important to the other person that I am on time helps me make an extra effort to manage my time better so I am on time. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I fail to manage my time properly and it comes across as disrespect, then I accept that I will be spanked for being late, no matter how easily I can justify my being late as no big deal, because it is a big deal to the other person. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being spanked for being late helps set the message that being on time is important, no matter what the reason, and I will be more punctual in the future or suffer the consequences without argument, LOL.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">So what if it is his problem and not mine? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am making an effort to make the relationship work, he can't help but do the same. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He could spank me for behavior he is also guilty of but then the lecture during the spanking would relate to him as well and he would have to take ownership for his own behavior as a way of setting an example. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, there are cases where a parent disciplines a child for something such as swearing while realizing that their own language may be to blame so they clean up their own choice of words as a means of setting a better example. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not a child but I still benefit from positive examples to follow. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, it is his responsibility as an authority figure to make sure he is following the same "rules" I am to be held accountable for in the relationship and that keeps him accountable to me, even though he is not the one going across my knee for a spanking.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Another important reason I am spanked by him and not the other way around is because he is a spanker and I am not. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cried when I had to spank my daughter for lying but it had to be done because if I had not spanked her for lying, as I told her I would, then I would be a liar myself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would prefer to leave the spanking to him because I am not suited to acting as a disciplinarian. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My daughter knows I have been spanked, even though she is not aware at the time I am being spanked for something. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have just as much opportunity to avoid being spanked as she does by being the kind of person that I want to be. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">In my home there is a Christian context to obedience but it is not necessary in all relationships where domestic discipline is practiced. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I submit to male authority (as the HOH) because it feels natural and right to us both, but we also believe it is what God commands when describing how men and women should relate to each other.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Quite honestly, although I am the submissive one, I am more in charge of whether or not I will be spanked than he is because I am responsible for my behavior. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He can set limits and enforce consequences but it is up to me whether or not I will need to be spanked as a means of discipline. For me a spanking is never without warning and often I get a second chance at avoiding a spanking if what I am doing is likely to result in my getting spanked. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the occasions when I am spanked, it is just a small part of our overall relationship dynamics.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, the answer to the "why me?" question is basically "because that is how it is!" and it works just fine that way. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> ;)</span></span></span></div></div></div></div>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-58445931881815798772011-05-04T00:06:00.000-07:002011-05-04T01:02:10.604-07:00Attitude<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>An integral part of being spanked is my acceptance and consent followed by a submissive attitude. </strong></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>My husband is not going to drag me kicking and screaming into a spanking because I have agreed to submit when a spanking becomes necessary to enforce consequences. He needs me to trust him to deliver the spanking in a loving way and, because we love each other and want the best for each other, I trust him to be gentle with me while at the same time he needs to be firm. I am not spanked for something without knowing that it will be a consequence first so the things I get spanked for are things I have agreed to change and for some reason fail to do so with willpower alone. </strong><br />
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<strong>In all honestly, I need consequences in order to help me change things that I want to change when requests and reminders fail. Having the "threat" of a spanking seems to improve my memory and efforts significantly because I was raised with corporal punishment and I respond to it in a positive way (even though I was also abused as a child). Of course I can just do what I need to do and never get spanked. </strong><br />
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<strong>I view spanking as punishment, which I don't like, with an additional benefit that it is a way of keeping the connection with my husband rather than having him sulk and withdraw, as a means of letting me know he is not pleased with something I have said or done while I am left trying to figure out exactly what it was I said or did. Although I don't actually like being spanked, what I do like about a TIH (Taken In Hand) relationship is the male dominance within the context of a trusting relationship. Sometimes my lack of self-control can be overcome with my husband's control and we both benefit. After a spanking I end up feeling closer to him because he is so loving and he cares about me so much. Sometimes it is confusing how something that hurts so much can also feel so good at the same time, although the good feelings actually come after the physical pain has subsided somewhat.</strong><br />
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<strong>In the past, I have been terrified of giving up control so the idea of submission has not come easy for me. Since I had an abusive childhood, I sometimes wonder why I would even consider submitting to spankings as an adult when I have a choice in the matter. I don't know if it is because of the abuse or in spite of the abuse that I feel a need for discipline as an adult. I think it takes being physically dominated, as happens during a spanking, for me to be able to submit to my husband in other ways as well, due to my rebellious streak. My father used to beat me into submission while my husband allows me to submit by choice. I always hated my father for his excessive use of force while I don't have bad feelings towards my husband at all (then again, spankings are pretty mild compared to the beatings my father gave me while in a blind rage). My father and my husband are so different that I relate to them in very different ways. I don't necessarily see myself as repeating my past relationship with my father by submitting to physical punishment delivered by my husband but I do wonder if I would be as responsive to being spanked if I had not experienced corporal punishment growing up.</strong><br />
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<strong>For me, corporal punishment is preferred because it is over and done with in a short time (with bruising making a more lasting impression that fades over time). Because my husband was not spanked as a child, he understands how long term punishments reinforce a negative attitude rather than promoting a more positive attitude and for him it is all about adjusting an unacceptable attitude. Spanking is the most effective attitude adjustment for me! </strong><br />
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<strong>I understand my need for consequences when I lack self-discipline, which is always my primary option over being punished. It is only when self-discipline fails that I am disciplined with a spanking. I don't think it is difficult to grasp the concept of adult women being punished, and spanking as a means of punishment is not hard for women to understand when they are also spanked. It is those who are not spanked who have the most difficulty understanding the concept!</strong></span></span></div>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5010947785733198422.post-91936601525377652802011-04-29T21:38:00.000-07:002011-05-04T00:33:02.826-07:00Redbottomed Redhead<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>As a redhead and a Leo, sometimes my red hot temperament results in a red hot bottom. </strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>It is not that I am a brat or that I am attention-seeking, it is just the natural result of my impulsive feminine nature. There are times I take action before I think of the consequences of my actions and when that happens I am fortunate to have a HOH (Head of Household) who cares enough about the outcome of my behavior that he will take me in hand and give me an old fashioned over the knee spanking. His temper is not as quick as mine so he gives me plenty of warnings with "the look" and with verbal reprimands in order to allow me to change my ways, and still there are times I don't heed the warning signs and it takes a firm hand to deliver the message during a sound spanking. When his hard hand lands on my bare bottom, it can really hurt and sometimes the soreness lasts for a few days, but the lesson learned has a far longer lasting effect. </strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>I need his authority to guide me in a disciplinary way because, in all honesty, I lack the self-discipline I need to achieve the same results I do when I am motivated by consequences imposed by a loving dominant man. I don't crave the punishment but I do desire the outcome when I am punished. When I have done something wrong that I know will disappoint him because I am disappointed in myself, the emotional pain is overwhelming. Being spanked releases that emotional pain and allows me to reach a state of mind where I can express my repentance and be forgiven. Sometimes I cry tears of remorse but it is not the pain of the spanking alone that brings tears to my eyes, it is the relief that I have paid for my mistake and can learn from it to do better in the future. This helps me become the kind of person I can be proud of so he can take pride in being my life partner. He wants to protect me from the world but sometimes I can be my own worst enemy and it is good to be protected from my own misbehavior. </strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>It is good to know that I am loved so much because the erotic love we feel towards each other builds when there is harmony in our relationship and in our lives. When some men get upset they withdraw into solitude but I don't have to wonder what I did wrong or how he feels about it because he spanks me instead of giving me his silent disapproval. In a DD (Domestic Discipline) relationship there are no grudges because anything that has the potential to come between us instead brings us closer together during a spanking.</strong></span></div>Redbottomed Redheadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13889261012180261739noreply@blogger.com3