An integral part of being spanked is my acceptance and consent followed by a submissive attitude.
My husband is not going to drag me kicking and screaming into a spanking because I have agreed to submit when a spanking becomes necessary to enforce consequences. He needs me to trust him to deliver the spanking in a loving way and, because we love each other and want the best for each other, I trust him to be gentle with me while at the same time he needs to be firm. I am not spanked for something without knowing that it will be a consequence first so the things I get spanked for are things I have agreed to change and for some reason fail to do so with willpower alone.
In all honestly, I need consequences in order to help me change things that I want to change when requests and reminders fail. Having the "threat" of a spanking seems to improve my memory and efforts significantly because I was raised with corporal punishment and I respond to it in a positive way (even though I was also abused as a child). Of course I can just do what I need to do and never get spanked.
I view spanking as punishment, which I don't like, with an additional benefit that it is a way of keeping the connection with my husband rather than having him sulk and withdraw, as a means of letting me know he is not pleased with something I have said or done while I am left trying to figure out exactly what it was I said or did. Although I don't actually like being spanked, what I do like about a TIH (Taken In Hand) relationship is the male dominance within the context of a trusting relationship. Sometimes my lack of self-control can be overcome with my husband's control and we both benefit. After a spanking I end up feeling closer to him because he is so loving and he cares about me so much. Sometimes it is confusing how something that hurts so much can also feel so good at the same time, although the good feelings actually come after the physical pain has subsided somewhat.
In the past, I have been terrified of giving up control so the idea of submission has not come easy for me. Since I had an abusive childhood, I sometimes wonder why I would even consider submitting to spankings as an adult when I have a choice in the matter. I don't know if it is because of the abuse or in spite of the abuse that I feel a need for discipline as an adult. I think it takes being physically dominated, as happens during a spanking, for me to be able to submit to my husband in other ways as well, due to my rebellious streak. My father used to beat me into submission while my husband allows me to submit by choice. I always hated my father for his excessive use of force while I don't have bad feelings towards my husband at all (then again, spankings are pretty mild compared to the beatings my father gave me while in a blind rage). My father and my husband are so different that I relate to them in very different ways. I don't necessarily see myself as repeating my past relationship with my father by submitting to physical punishment delivered by my husband but I do wonder if I would be as responsive to being spanked if I had not experienced corporal punishment growing up.
For me, corporal punishment is preferred because it is over and done with in a short time (with bruising making a more lasting impression that fades over time). Because my husband was not spanked as a child, he understands how long term punishments reinforce a negative attitude rather than promoting a more positive attitude and for him it is all about adjusting an unacceptable attitude. Spanking is the most effective attitude adjustment for me!
I understand my need for consequences when I lack self-discipline, which is always my primary option over being punished. It is only when self-discipline fails that I am disciplined with a spanking. I don't think it is difficult to grasp the concept of adult women being punished, and spanking as a means of punishment is not hard for women to understand when they are also spanked. It is those who are not spanked who have the most difficulty understanding the concept!
My husband is not going to drag me kicking and screaming into a spanking because I have agreed to submit when a spanking becomes necessary to enforce consequences. He needs me to trust him to deliver the spanking in a loving way and, because we love each other and want the best for each other, I trust him to be gentle with me while at the same time he needs to be firm. I am not spanked for something without knowing that it will be a consequence first so the things I get spanked for are things I have agreed to change and for some reason fail to do so with willpower alone.
In all honestly, I need consequences in order to help me change things that I want to change when requests and reminders fail. Having the "threat" of a spanking seems to improve my memory and efforts significantly because I was raised with corporal punishment and I respond to it in a positive way (even though I was also abused as a child). Of course I can just do what I need to do and never get spanked.
I view spanking as punishment, which I don't like, with an additional benefit that it is a way of keeping the connection with my husband rather than having him sulk and withdraw, as a means of letting me know he is not pleased with something I have said or done while I am left trying to figure out exactly what it was I said or did. Although I don't actually like being spanked, what I do like about a TIH (Taken In Hand) relationship is the male dominance within the context of a trusting relationship. Sometimes my lack of self-control can be overcome with my husband's control and we both benefit. After a spanking I end up feeling closer to him because he is so loving and he cares about me so much. Sometimes it is confusing how something that hurts so much can also feel so good at the same time, although the good feelings actually come after the physical pain has subsided somewhat.
In the past, I have been terrified of giving up control so the idea of submission has not come easy for me. Since I had an abusive childhood, I sometimes wonder why I would even consider submitting to spankings as an adult when I have a choice in the matter. I don't know if it is because of the abuse or in spite of the abuse that I feel a need for discipline as an adult. I think it takes being physically dominated, as happens during a spanking, for me to be able to submit to my husband in other ways as well, due to my rebellious streak. My father used to beat me into submission while my husband allows me to submit by choice. I always hated my father for his excessive use of force while I don't have bad feelings towards my husband at all (then again, spankings are pretty mild compared to the beatings my father gave me while in a blind rage). My father and my husband are so different that I relate to them in very different ways. I don't necessarily see myself as repeating my past relationship with my father by submitting to physical punishment delivered by my husband but I do wonder if I would be as responsive to being spanked if I had not experienced corporal punishment growing up.
For me, corporal punishment is preferred because it is over and done with in a short time (with bruising making a more lasting impression that fades over time). Because my husband was not spanked as a child, he understands how long term punishments reinforce a negative attitude rather than promoting a more positive attitude and for him it is all about adjusting an unacceptable attitude. Spanking is the most effective attitude adjustment for me!
I understand my need for consequences when I lack self-discipline, which is always my primary option over being punished. It is only when self-discipline fails that I am disciplined with a spanking. I don't think it is difficult to grasp the concept of adult women being punished, and spanking as a means of punishment is not hard for women to understand when they are also spanked. It is those who are not spanked who have the most difficulty understanding the concept!
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