Busted Again!

I am in for another spanking today after having been spanked Monday for neglecting a load of laundry in the washing machine over the weekend.  I did not realize that I was so sidetracked this week.


I woke up early this morning to take my husband to work since I need the car today and our second vehicle needs repairs before it can be driven safely. Before we left at 4:30 this morning he had posted to his blog so I got an update as a follower.  His words caused me to think I may have neglected to do something I was supposed to do so I hurried and made a bill payment that I was supposed to have made yesterday but put off doing right away. 

Then when I looked around the kitchen it became clear that I was probably in trouble for the state it was in.  I noticed that the pizza pan we used Friday night was still waiting to be washed by hand and put away.  The grill I used on Saturday was still on the stovetop needing to be washed and put away.  There were dishes in the sink since I had washed a load of dishes but I had not put them away yet.  We ate out last night since I had a doctor's appointment and my husband was starving by the time he picked me up afterwards so the dishes in the sink were from the night before when I had heated up leftovers before going to a Christmas party with a group from church.  If I leave dishes overnight they are usually done the next morning but I neglected to take care of them yesterday.  As much as I hate to admit it, the laundry that had stayed in the dryer over the weekend is still in the dryer waiting to be folded and put away.  It is my responsibility to keep up with the household chores and I quite obviously failed so I correctly assumed that I was going to be held accountable. 


It was not until I had dropped my husband off for work and returned home safely that I dared to ask him in a text message if I was going to be spanked because we both know that I don't handle the apprehension well.  I texted "Looking around at what I have failed to do I am pretty certain I have a spanking coming.  You might as well tell me if I am going to be spanked because I am already stressed out with the apprehension anyway."  He texted back "You do have a good spanking coming and that's what you'll be getting!"  Unfortunately the delay in getting it over with keeps me too focused on the negative feelings of remorse and regret as I punish myself mentally.  If I were over his knee now I would probably be brought to tears quickly and it would be over with so I could focus on other things.  Instead I will spend the day beating myself up for failing to live up to a standard I expect from myself as a wife and mother.


I have shared with my husband that I want and need his leadership because I fail to do what I need to do when it seems unimportant.  When he notices the things that are not done as they should be it helps me to see those tasks as important.  I don't know how I managed to overlook the things I should have done.

My husband puts in full days at work while I stay at home being lazy.  I have plenty of time to keep up with a few simple chores to avoid negative consequences and yet I procrastinate and do not manage my time well.  I am ashamed at my lack of responsibility because I want to be a better wife and mother.  I appreciate my husband for holding me accountable because I clearly lack the self-discipline to do it on my own.  At the same time, if he asks me if I want a spanking I will say no and try to negotiate my way out of it (often by making excuses and trying to get him to share the blame)!  I want to be spanked when I deserve it but I would prefer to do what I need to do so I won't earn a spanking.


Being spanked is painful and at the same time it is freeing.  The guilt I feel from the realization that I have not done what should have been done causes mental anguish that needs an outlet for release so it does not linger and cause anxiety, depression or other more longterm consequences.  Once I have been spanked for something I will have a clean slate so I can begin again without my husband holding grudges against me or using passive aggressive means to point out my shortcomings. Repeat offenses do result in more severe consequences such as a longer hand spanking or the use of an implement to make it more memorable but still, once the spanking is over all is forgiven and I know I am loved.  Perhaps it is childish to feel loved and cared for in this way as an adult but when my "inner child" needs are neglected it hurts me as an adult.


I am naturally prone to surrounding myself with chaos.  Some people have a hard time with change while I have a hard time with the boredom of repetition.  I need things to be predictable and stable in order to balance the chaos I create in my life and fortunately my husband provides a shelter in the storm.  He loves me for who I am but he also sees how quickly I fall apart when things become too unmanageable and overwhelming.  I am so thankful that he takes control when I allow things to get out of control.  I am also grateful that he knows how to handle a redheaded Leo like myself, LOL.  Not all men would be up to the challenge!

Laundry Lapsed!

I sometimes get distracted and lack the necessary follow-through on basic household chores.  My husband has given me reminders when I have walked away from a task and failed to return to it for several days and yet sometimes I continue to get side tracked and end up spanked.

Laundry is one of those things that has a start and a finish but it does not require my undivided attention since I am not going to stand around and watch a load wash (even though the washer would allow me to do that since it has a glass door on the front) and I am not going to wait for the dryer to complete its cycle.  The trick is in the timing.  I put in a load of wash, return to put it in the dryer, and return once more to remove the clothes to be folded and put away.  Often the clothes end up on the bed briefly because I walk away from them and return a short time later to put them away because I need to put the load from the washer into the dryer and then start a new load in the washing machine.  Laundry can take all day to complete but I am doing other things at the same time while the machines do the work.  My difficulty is in remembering that I am doing laundry when I am also busy doing other things.

There have been occasions when I have walked away from a load of clothes on the bed and not made it back right away to finish the job of folding them and putting them away.  Usually I will return at a later time, see the laundry pile, and take care of it before the wrinkles set in too badly.  Sometimes I don't get to the load in the dryer right away and I have to set it on a tumble press cycle to work out the wrinkles that have set while the clothes were sitting in the dryer.  On occasion it has taken a day or more to return to the load because, unlike a pile on the bed, it is out of sight and out of mind.  I typically realize that there is a missing load when someone runs out of socks or underwear and they can easily be retrieved from the dryer because wrinkles are not an issue with undergarments such as socks and underwear.

The real problem is forgetting about a load of wash for a few days because it slipped my mind and I did not notice the clothes stuck to the sides after a spin cycle, even though a keen observer can see them through the glass door on the front of the washer.  When I forget a load of wash for a few days, the result is foul smelling laundry that needs a repeat wash (which unfortunately uses more soap, water, and electricity than necessary).  Somehow my husband has an eye for laundry that I do not have.

Not long ago I left a load of wash in the washer long enough to cause a stink and I was warned that if it continued to happen I would be spanked.  I agreed because I am aware that it is a problem for me and something I need to correct.  Unfortunately I did not figure out a solution to the problem and it happened again.

I am not sure what day last week I decided to do laundry but what I am sure about is that a load was still in the washer today when my husband came home from work and I had not done laundry today.  When he asks questions that do not seem to require a specific answer I can get often away with being vague and sometimes that works.  For example, he may ask, "how long has that load of laundry been in the washer?" and I may answer, "not long" and he will accept that for an answer.  Not today!  My error may have been that I had not even realized that there was anything in the washer because it had been last week since I did laundry.  Somehow, "huh, what laundry?" is not an acceptable answer to the question when I have already been given a fair number of warnings.

So, I had a spanking coming but because my husband did not put me over his knee right then and there, I thought I was going to get away with another warning.  I added soap and ran the washer, then walked away from it and continued working on other things.  I checked my e-mail and to my surprise my husband had posted on his blog that his wife would be spanked soon!  I am a follower on his blog so I get updates everytime he posts and there have been times I wondered if I was due for a spanking based on something he posted.  This left little room for doubt that he intended to spank me even though he had not done so right away.  I don't do well with the anticipation of a spanking and he knows it.  Still, he sometimes tells me I am going to be spanked without actually spanking me then and there.

I know some women actually enjoy the emotional tension that accompanies the anticipation of a spanking but not me.  If I had access to pain killers that I could take prior to a spanking it might be good to know it was coming but since I don't have a prescription for narcotics it does me no good to wait for the moment to come when I will be feeling painful sensations across my bare bottom.  When I am spanked I really prefer to have it happen immediately because then it is over with before I have a chance to try thinking my way out of it.

The "lecture" part of a spanking has to happen before my mind can attempt to process the situation from an innocent standpoint rather than a guilty one, and the physical part needs to follow for it to have the intended impact.  The more time there is between a behavior and consequence, the more time I have to justify the behavior instead of the consequence.

My husband is fair so when he decides to spank me it is because I need a spanking.  I accept the spanking because I trust him to be fair.  I don't question his authority over me unless he gives me the opportunity to question him.  When my husband says he is going to spank me but then there is a lapse of time between the words and his action, I take that to mean that there is a chance he will change his mind or that I can change his mind for him.  He may be unaware that this is how my mind works under the circumstances but I have often had people tell me they will do something and they don't follow through, leaving me to doubt that they mean what they say.  My husband has on occasion made references to wanting to spank me for something that he didn't spank me for so perhaps that has led me to believe that there is an opportunity for negotiation when it comes to his decision to spank me.  Whatever the reason, the fact is that the more time I have between being told I will be spanked and the actual spanking, the more likely I will recover from the instant feeling of remorse and end up with a more defiant attitude that is harder to break through.

Another thing that I have difficulty with is combining discipline with sex.  For me, sexual contact with my husband is about me wanting to please him and wanting him to be pleased with me.  I do not find spankings erotic or pleasurable but I do find sex to be pleasurable.  It is difficult for me to transition from the acceptance that I have done wrong and deserve to be spanked as a result of my behavior to then having sexual desires.  I am available to my husband sexually whenever he has a sexual desire for me and yet spankings and sex don't mix as well for me as they do for him.  He may be aroused when spanking me because he thinks I have a beautiful bottom and his spanking me is a loving gesture but my mind has a hard time mixing pain and pleasure the way some people do.

When I am truly ashamed for disappointing my husband it is hard to feel desirable at the same time, even if he finds me desirable.  I know he likes the appearance of my bottom when it has been spanked and I want to please him sexually but a spanking is not in the same category as erotic foreplay in my mind.  I am not sure how to get my mind to be more cooperative in this area.  I am most definitely sexually submissive and prefer a sexually dominant partner so I want my husband to take the lead in the bedroom.  I don't mind having sex immediately following a spanking but I personally would prefer the spanking and sex to be separate as much as possible with more sex than spankings.

My husband has made comments that I should be spanked more than I am and I know that he lets me off at times when a spanking is deserved.  It is possible I would do a better job keeping up with this blog if I were spanked more frequently because it gives me something to write about, LOL.  He asked me earlier if I was testing his resolve and I don't think that is the case.  I want to be an obedient wife and yet I know that my strong personality has the potential to create powers struggles if I were to choose to be rebellious against my husband's authority in our relationship.  Fortunately my husband would spank me rather than allow that to happen to our relationship.

It is not the spankings I like, rather I like the fact that he will put me over his knee and spank me when it is for my own good.  It is not only my thinking that I can say or do something to convince my husband that I have learned my lesson without his enforcing the message in my brain with a physical reminder, it is the thinking that I can manipulate time in order to change the behavior that got me into trouble.  By the time I am over his knee with my pants down, my mind has already corrected the problem by going back in time and avoiding the mistake that led to the punishment.  In addition, my brain comes up with every justification imaginable so that instead of getting caught and being accountable right away, I manage to deflect the blame onto an entirely different set of circumstances.  In the case of the laundry, I actually came up with the idea that my husband had put the clothes in the washer and left them there instead of me so I was being unjustly punished for his amusement!  Of course that was nowhere near the truth but it is an example of how desperately I will seek to remove myself from the consequences of my own behavior if given enough time to think my way out of an upcoming spanking. 

Crossing the Line

I was in court yesterday and heard testimony from a father about a spanking he gave his daughter.  It surprised me that he was reading from a prepared statement that sounded so much like the descriptions of spankings I have heard in other contexts. 


The teenager had been communicating with her boyfriend through e-mail using sexually explicit language that the parents rightly felt was inappropriate.  When they asked to see the messages the girl said they were gone from her computer and she did not know what happened to them.  After more questioning she admitted that she had deleted the messages so her parents would not see them because she knew it was wrong for her to be using the language she had in the messages.  Not only had she engaged in unacceptable behavior but she lied about her cover-up attempts.  The father stated in his testimony that it had been two years since the girl had received her last spanking.  He told her that she would be spanked for what she had done and then he told her to go downstairs and prepare herself.


The girl apparently knew the drill because she pulled down her pants and bent over the bed for the spanking.  The father removed his belt and he administered the spanking on her bare bottom.  The girl's mother was a witness to be sure she was not harmed excessively and the father did not lose his temper or his self-control.  He stated that there were no marks at the conclusion of the spanking but he did not specify how long it lasted or to what severity he had struck her backside with the belt.  It was not an unusual punishment and it was over and done with following a brief scolding and a final reprimand.  Afterwards the family watched a movie together and went on with their usual evening routine.  I did not find any reason to think the father was doing anything other than disciplining his daughter.


The judge had stopped the man when he got to the part about taking off his belt and warned him that he was giving public testimony so anything he said could and would be used against, him but the man continued to describe what he had done to discipline his daughter.  After the viral video of the Texas judge using a belt on his non-compliant daughter so that the discipline involved abusive language towards her and strokes of the belt on her thighs instead of her bottom, it was clear that the description the man was about to give could have been considered abusive to those in the courtroom listening and to the female judge determining whether or not he had crossed the line.  The father continued because what he did was not abusive towards his daughter, rather it was a form of discipline that he had used in the past without crossing the line of discipline into the realm of abuse.


My husband is able to administer a scolding and spanking in a calm collected manner and he is able to inflict enough pain to get a message across without going too far.  I respect him for this and I trust him to be fair with me when discipline is administered.  A spanking hurts but that is why it is effective and it is far less hurtful than other more longterm consequences society would impose as a means of justice.  When it is done right, it is not abusive and it brings family members closer together in a loving relationship built on trust and respect.


There are situations when spanking crosses the line and becomes abuse.  What I saw in the seven minute video of the judge and his daughter was nothing compared to what I experienced at the hands of my own father, who had a violent temper and easily lost control of his anger, and yet it was not what I would consider an act of discipline due to the verbal assault that went along with the physical assault.  I don't know if there was any lasting physical damage to the teenager but I am guessing the judge's words did not do anything to bring them closer together as a family.  It may not have met the legal definition of abuse but it was certainly questionable.  The spanking I heard the father describe in the courtroom yesterday did not seem to concern the judge but that may have been partly because the father had stated at the end of his testimony that his daughter may have been too old to spank so it gave the impression that he would not be using the belt on her again.  Sometimes when hand spanking fails to be effective parents turn to the use of a belt or paddle in order to get through to a defiant teenager and the use of an implement can cause more damage than necessary, particularly if the parent is striking in anger and not love. 


The goal with discipline is not to damage a person but to correct them in a way that will be memorable.  I might think that picking up my husband late after work when I need the car for the day is no big deal but when he gets off work, worn out from his exhausing work day, he wants to be able to leave right away and not stand around waiting for me to get there.  There is no reason I can't budget my time to pick him up on time so if I am late he would very likely want to spank me right there and let me think about it on the seated ride home.  I accept that he is not asking too much by wanting me to be on time so I would accept a spanking in order to help me be on time the next time.  Fortunately for me, a warning is usually all it takes for me to change my bad habits!  When he asks me to pick him up at a particular time I am sure to get there a bit early just to make sure I am not late so the first time I was late and was told what would happen if it happened again will hopefully be the last time I am ever late to pick him up.  I prefer my husband spend his time after work admiring my bottom rather than spending time with me over his knee because I have disappointed him.


My husband never looks for reasons to spank.  He knows that he can have my naked bottom across his lap anytime he wants to admire it or even pat it playfully.  He can walk in the kitchen as I am cooking supper and pull down my pants just to caress my bare bottom if he is in the mood.  My body is his to enjoy and I would not deprive him from expressing his love for me in physical ways.  When I am spanked it is an entirely different mood that is created and one I don't want to provoke.  I don't enjoy being spanked but I do appreciate how it helps me stay more focused and gives him a means of feeling in control as the head of our household (we both know that women are clever enough to establish control in ways that allow men to think they have all the control, LOL).  It brings us closer together while unresolved conflict just pushes us apart.


I am glad to know that people are able to use spanking the way we do in order to strengthen their relationships through respect and trust.  There are people who will abuse their authority and mistreat those they claim to care enough about to discipline but that does not make the act of spanking a form of abuse.  It is so much more harmful to pull away from people we love in order to avoid conflict.  I personally don't believe that teenagers become "too old" to be spanked since I am a grown woman who still benefits from being spanked.  It used to be that a girl grew up under her father's authority and then accepted her husband's authority in much the same way.  If a father or husband abuses his authority and harms her she is not likely to be willing to submit to his authority but if he uses his authority as a means of expressing his love and concern for her wellbeing then her submission can be a blessing to them both.